The Rebellion of... Firing Your Ancestors
- Oct 31
- 4 min read
Blessed Samhain! Happy Halloween! Feliz Día de los Muertos!
It is the culmination of spooky season and the apex of all things pumpkin spice. This is also the time of year when the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead is said to be at its thinnest, allowing those who have crossed over to visit us more easily.
As such, this is supposed to be a time for ancestor veneration - the practice of honoring those who came before and in whose legacy we know live. Many cultures practice this and hold their ancestors in deep reverence, but… what if your ancestors were assholes?
First of all, what even makes an ancestor?
Looking at this from a purely biological standpoint and fancy science advancements aside, we all have 2 parents. Each one of those people has 2 parents, meaning we have 4 grandparents. Each one of those people has 2 parents, giving us 8 great-grandparents.
So goes the pattern, with each generation back doubling the number of people from whom we are directly descended. If we look 8 generations back, we have 256 ancestors; 10 generations and it’s over 1,000. By the time we reach 12 generations, which is only about 300 years ago, there are 4,096 ancestors. YIKES!
Of course, many of them likely had siblings, additional partners, multiple children, and blended families, thus the actual number of “ancestors” may be larger, but you get the point. Just looking at direct lineage, the ancestor count quickly becomes a LOT of people, and what do they all have in common?
They fucked. At least once.
Yup, that’s it! They got jiggy wit it. Did the mattress mambo. Went for a roll in the hay.
THAT’S. IT.
Now, take a look around at your relatives.
Take a look at your neighbors, coworkers, classmates, and friends. How many of these people would you light a candle and pray to? How many would you want to be guiding you from the beyond? Sure, there are (hopefully) good people in your world, but how many others are just absolute fresh-wrapped sacks of trash?
Here's the thing - we are all ancestors in the making. The only difference between us and the generations that came before is a dirt nap. Think about those 4,000+ folks who bonked in the past 300 years.
Do you think all of them were good people? Do you think they all had their shit together? At least a portion of them were also flesh-wrapped sacks of trash and now they’re, um… flesh-unwrapped sacks of (bony) trash. They are not worth the candle.
Much of our work in disrupting Money Culture focuses on healing inherited Money Wounds and generation trauma. In order to do that, we need to take a very realistic look at exactly who shaped our worldviews and either supported, or oppressed, our potential to thrive.
Some of these people were trapped in a society that intentionally kept resources out of their hands, so they became who they needed to be in order to survive. Laws may have eventually changed, but their survival instinct did not.
Others, however, were knowingly and enthusiastically part of upholding the patriarchy, providing either direct or ancillary support. Take a glance around - just how many are doing the exact same thing today? They are someone’s ancestors in the making. Would you want to light a candle to their fascist ass?
The point is that it’s foolish to canonize and venerate people who came and went simply because they, well, came and went. Most of them we know nothing about. You may be their wildest dreams or their worst nightmares. Be comfortable with both.
SHAMELESS PLUG: If you need help dealing the relatives that are still above ground this holiday season, join us for Managing Your Emotional Bank Account: Turkey Day Edition! This free/pay-what-you-can event will give you tools to deal with the cluckers who like to ruffle everyone's feathers.
So, what is a witch to do when some of your un-dearly departed DNA contributors left some bad blood? This witch fired their astral asses.
Yup! Last Samhain, my way of honoring not only myself, but the ancestors who were here to serve for good, was to fire everyone else. I’ve spent too much time picking up the pieces of their fucked-up past.
Too much energy unlearning their toxic restrictive mindsets that kept me in bad situations around even worse people. Too much pain and emotional scar tissue from abuse and financial sabotage. Too much of all my resources sorting through the boxes and boxes of bad memories they left behind covered in dust, drama, and depression.
Their wounds were no longer mine to heal. I’d done what I could and the rest of my time in this meatsuit on the blue marble was going to be for me. I was ready to move forward, creating the type of legacy I wanted to leave. It was time to become the ancestor I hope will be venerated by generations to come. In order to do that, the astral assholes had to go. Time to haunt someone else!
In doing so, I created space for more beneficial souls to come forward and be heard. I created space for my own healing and solace. I created space to rebuild after everything I’d known was torn down. It has been nice.
Our ancestors should be here to help us learn from the past so that we can move forward and build a better future. Are your ancestors pulling their weight? If not, then some of them may be in need of a cosmic pink slip. Don’t be afraid to have security escort them out.
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